I feel as though it is easy (from the outside looking in) to presume the choice to be a surrogate is one fueled by emotions (possibly guilt) and not well thought out. This could not possibly be further from the truth. I mentioned before, that when offering to carry my sister and brother-in-law’s adopted embryo, I had presented them with some “stipulations” if you will.
My relationships with my sisters include total open communication. We were never the sisters that said something mean and gave each other the silent treatment for any amount of time. Honestly, I think it is our honesty that has built our relationships on such a strong foundation. I want my older sister to be a mother more than anything in this world, but I would not let that want (definitely not guilt) supersede what is best for the both of us and our relationship moving forward.
That being said, the conversations with my husband led us both to believe that we wanted to present surrogacy as an option to Kate and Paul, but only under certain circumstances. Luckily we were all on the same page, and without even blinking they agreed with each and every point we brought up or were concerned about. Here are some of them.
- Kate and Britt had to be present at a meeting with both Kate’s doctor and Britt’s doctor to get full approval and the blessing to go ahead from all parties involved.
- Britt wants to use her OB-GYN and (if it comes to it) deliver at the hospital where Bennett was born (had an amazing experience at Memorial Regional).
- Mental Health professionals (counselors) would be called on at ANY time that Britt thought there were issues that needed sorted out. (re: Mentally preparing yourself to have a baby but not leave the hospital with said child is one thing, but there are physical ramifications too and after the fact, someone to talk things through may be needed.)
- Abortion: Britt would like this to only happen if her health is jeopardized. (Luckily Kate and Paul had already discussed that if these questions came up, it would be the surrogate’s right to choose to continue the pregnancy or not.)
- NO PICTURES LIKE THIS
Those were some of my initial concerns (lets be honest, the weird maternity pics were at the TOP of the list).
Maybe next week we’ll detail some of the crazy legal
bullshit stuff we had to deal with when going through our surrogacy “contract”.
Until then, keep the prayers coming!